I just had a hankering to write to you today. I hope you’re doing well lately. Since my last few postings my life has turned kind of upside down, in a painful, but good way, kind of like giving birth, almost. It’s weird. I can feel the pain as well as the breath of freedom.
I’ve had a few theme songs as I’ve been going through this cataclysmic time–three of Sara Bareilles’ songs: She Used to Be Mine, Brave, I Choose You, Rachel Platten’s Fight Song, and Alex Boye’s Lemonade. 🙂 I’ve been playing these songs alternately, over and over again. I’ve been on quite the roller coaster and they have all helped me through it in different ways.
Right now, life is requiring me to be brave. Brave in facing the truth that has come to my awareness. Brave in standing on my convictions. Brave in moving forward with what I know I must do. Brave in claiming my own mind, heart, feelings and convictions. Brave in claiming my own identity and letting it shine. Has life called you to be equally brave? I hope so, cuz this is crazy exciting and peaceful and earthshaking at the same time. It feels like God is in the process of moving a mountainous stronghold, like the mountain is in the process of parting so that I can walk through. Wow! God is awesome! In Him I am free!!!
My sister shared something with me the other day that really struck a cord with me. She talked about how we are the first tools to our healing. Before any tool can be useable to us, we have to become the tool ourselves. We have to know who we are, what our true identity is and then the tools that we need and that we’ll use to help others will come our way. I was thinking, “I want my nitch! Where’s my special gift to give to the world?” I’m realizing that the gift I have to give the world is who I am and there may be several avenues of how that is expressed. One of which is writing. Another is music–writing songs.
I am brave enough to give me a definition. What do I mean? When people say my name, what is the creation that they see in their mind? What do I want it to be?! I have choices! I get to decide what my definition will be. In God I find my true identity and my true definition. This is not limiting, but rather freeing. Why? Because there is no vagueness. How can you use something if you don’t know what it is? It has to have a name to be used and every name has a definition.
And you know what? I think that the things that we absolutely, passionately love and that are a part of our everydays are part of that definition, the things that touch our hearts on a deep level. If I were to define myself just using that it would be: loves the scriptures, loves to pray, loves to read, to sing, to laugh, to dance, to cry, to love, be in nature, get dirt on my toes, be a mom and play with my kids, talk gospel, be scrupulously honest, lover of truth where ever it is found, love to interact with people–oh! the list is endless!!!!! 🙂 I am passionate about a lot of things.
If I were a part of speech, do you know which one I would be? I would be a verb! All kinds of verbs!!! But specifically “Being” verbs and action verbs. If I were to think of a verb picture I would do what a catalyst does. A little bit goes a long way and changes everything in a very short amount of time, changing something stagnant and useless into something moving and purposeful. If I could pick, that would be me. And do you know what? Today, I already know that I am. I feel strength and freedom and dare I say even joy flowing through my being. All because I am choosing to be brave and be who I am, who God created me to be. So today, I am being brave. 🙂
I invite you to join me on my “being brave” day! Today, STAND for something that you believe in, even if you stand alone. Today, don’t let your convictions be swept under the rug because of peer pressure. Today, be your own kind of catalyst and make the world a better place by being who you are and not wavering. And, if you do, I would absolutely love to hear about your experience in the comments!
Those are my thoughts for now. Hope you come back soon!
-Thoughts From A Mother’s Heart